Feelings were explored and some practical difficulties uncovered. Due to the loss of his leg he felt unbalanced and wobbly when they tried to make love, as they always used the missionary position. When the doctor asked him why he had to do it in that position he was amazed and said he had never thought of doing it any other way. This led to a discussion of other positions and options. It was necessary to consider how he would feel if he was in the underneath position as he already felt ‘flattened’. There had been no real communication with his wife about his doubts and fears. He felt she did not want to upset him, and she tended to say things like, ‘It’s all right, don’t worry about it.’ He felt ashamed of the sexual difficulty, and of the loss of his limb, hoping that when he limped people would think he had a touch of arthritis. There was a need to grieve for all the losses.
Following this meeting with the doctor, Alan was able to talk to his wife at length, and he felt they could now share the problem. He had a smile on his face as he said that they had experimented with new positions and that it was now fine and there were no problems.
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