For children who have been starved for praise, words alone may not work, so tangible rewards are given. Some teachers give out points for good behavior, and children trade the points later for prizes. Such a scheme is called a contract. And parents can adapt it to reward a child for any desired behavior – washing dishes, taking out the trash, studying, using good table manners. Parents and child agree on what kind of behavior wins points, how many points get the prize and what the prize is. Parents must never fail to honor a commitment.

Once the behavior is learned, set up a new contract for a new behavior. Phase out the rewards for learned behavior, so that it becomes important for its own sake. Also, to keep the contract intact, if a child fails to win points for some days, ignore this failure.

Many teachers and parents argue that children should not be rewarded for things they ought to do anyway. They call that bribery. Professors Sulzer-Azaroff and Mayer point out that bribery induces illegal or immoral acts. By rewarding good behavior, they note, you are not inducing something illegal or immoral. The reward is to the child’s advantage, not to the advantage of the reward giver.

While most psychologists agree that praise works better than punishment as do tangible rewards, teachers and parents must be wary of killing a child’s curiosity and innate eagerness to learn. If a child learns to work only for rewards, they soon lose interest in studying or practicing for their own sakes. However, praise and tangible rewards can jump-start a change of miscreant behavior.

Dr. Mayer adds that most adults are paid for their work and says there is nothing wrong with paying children for their “work.” So give children their “paycheck”: smile!

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GENERAL HEALTH